Sunday, June 10, 2012

Trauma & Dissociation: Pulling the Cord

From The New Yorker: Black Box, by Jennifer Egan.

... Remind yourself that you aren’t being
paid when he climbs out of the water
and lumbers toward you.
Remind yourself that you aren’t
being paid when he leads you behind
a boulder and pulls you onto
his lap.
The Dissociation Technique is like a
parachute—you must pull the cord at the
correct time.
Too soon, and you may hinder your
ability to function at a crucial moment;
Too late, and you will be lodged
too deeply inside the action to wriggle
free.
You will be tempted to pull the cord
when he surrounds you with arms whose
bulky strength reminds you, fleetingly, of
your husband’s.
You will be tempted to pull it when you
feel him start to move against you from
below.
You will be tempted to pull it when his
smell envelops you: metallic, like a warm
hand clutching pennies.
The directive “Relax” suggests that your
discomfort is palpable.
“No one can see us” suggests that...

 http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/books/2012/06/jennifer-egan-black-box.html