Thursday, January 19, 2012

When Adult Children Shun Their Parents

Over on Shrink Rap News, a post will be going up about my random thoughts about adult children who essentially divorce their parents.  In the families I'm talking about (and I know many), these aren't extreme situations--the children did not suffer from abuse, neglect, or deprivation at the hands of their parents.  When they were children, the parents tried to be attentive, caring, and to provide for them as best as they could (which was sometimes rather well).    The parents likely made mistakes, because parents are not perfect,  but the issues are current ones...and often ones the parents themselves can't articulate.  In these cases, the adult children have severed ties even though the relationship was close, and they themselves might say they had good childhoods.  Why the estrangement?  I suppose it's different in each case, and often there are issues with parental divorce, the relationship with the child's spouse, a sense that the parent is too critical, too judgmental, or perhaps too intrusive and controlling.  The adult children may feel they are being used or manipulated.  I talk about some of my theories, and they may well all be wrong.  None of it science, just what I've gathered from listening.  If you'd like to read my thoughts, I invite you to surf over to CPN's Shrink Rap News.  And, of course, I'd like to hear your story.  You can check over there sometime around noon.

If you're interested, I'll also direct you to a website run by someone dear to me:  MOTHERRR! -- about rebuilding mother-daughter relationships.  While my post talks about estrangement from the vantage point of the parents, this site looks as mother-daughter difficulties from the perspective of the adult child.