Thursday, August 10, 2006

Scrubbing In

I haven't posted in a bit, what with trying to survive Life In Hell and setting up the logo foster care program and all (thanks to everyone who volunteered). I'm dropping in now for an update.

After three consecutive days of 100 degree weather, I ran out and bought some scrubs to sweat through. They were the height of fashion and it was quite fun throwing everyone for a loop: "Doc, what're you doing in those? Aren't you a psych doc?" (Yes, and I'm dying here. The Shrink is shrinking. Can you get me a fan?) The colors were fashionable. For the computer nerds among us I was wearing #993333 or rgb(153,51,51) (not a browser-safe color, really a maroon), #006633 or rgb(0,102,51) and #330099 or rgb(51,0,153). (I like hex numbers best myself, but for Foo you have to use RGB values in Java. Other than that I think Java is a very fun programming language.)

But back to the point.

Like JW, I have been online since before the World Wide Web existed. (My favorite Dinah quote, after showing her the Web for the first time in the 1990's: "This Internet thing will never catch on. It's too slow.") I remember those early flame wars he referred to, and it's interesting to see how civilized posters are now. I'm amused by the number of people who expressed concern that Dinah might get angry if she were teased. It's thoughtful of you all, but trust me that Dinah is quite resilient and has a wonderful sense of humor. I should know. Several years ago when we were both in training together she once put disgusting in my mailbox and convinced the department secretary to page me and demand that I come down right away and remove it. She brought it for my cat and she meant well, but it was truly disgusting. I am probably the only resident in the history of that program to ever have vital organs placed in my mailbox. And they wonder why I became a forensic psychiatrist.

The first time I had ever heard of Dinah was through a mutual friend who was in my medical school class. When she found out where I had matched, she said I had to be on the lookout for her. "You'll love her," mutual friend said. "You have the same sense of humor."

Oh dear. This might be dangerous.

I'm convinced that the computer that does the residency matches is designed specifically so that all the extremes in a given training year are evened out. You know, short people are matched in programs with tall people, thin with fat, etc. In my case, Dinah and I were placed in the same training year. She was extroverted, I was introverted. She was creative, I was a nerd. I was the sweet, quiet, compliant resident and she was...

Well, you get the idea. Practical jokes were one of the things we had in common. So now when she insults my logo, I don't take offense. I get even. And really, who could resist the tempation of a global practical joke? I'm grateful for the opportunity she gave me to be evilly creative. Also, I rather enjoy the idea that a tiny logo-sized memorial to my friend has now been preserved in cyberspace forever; her name cached redundantly on Google servers and on hard drives in computers worldwide. It's like a modern-day cave drawing that will last a long time, dedicated to my good friend.

I'm sorry the blog is ruining your life but it sure is a fun trip downhill. Watch your back and remember: the duck is loaded.