Saturday, June 17, 2006

Noted In Passing

I went out to lunch today at a restaurant that specializes in organic, fair-trade, allergen-free, dolphin-safe food. While I was waiting I browsed the brochures, business flyers and cards that people left in the lobby. I found pretty much what I expected to see in a place with organic, fair-trade, allergen-free, dolphin-safe food: business cards for accupuncturists, Chinese herbalists, shiatsu, yoga and feng-shui. Then I came across one that stopped me in my tracks. It was an advertisement for...are you ready...Angel Adjustment. The flyer made a point of noting that Angel Adjustment was trademarked intellectual property, and that it was designed to promote general wellbeing. It was offered in collaboration with "Dr. X, PhD". Didn't mention what the field PhD was in. And the cost? Only $50 for a half hour, or $110 for an hour. And I didn't even know that angels needed adjusting, which just goes to show what they teach you in medical school and maybe I should demand my money back. In medical school they should teach you about the etiology, diagnosis, treatment and prognosis of maladjusted angels. After all, they make you memorize the Krebs cycle and as far as I'm aware that's got nothing to do whatsoever with my spiritual well-being.

Then there was the brochure for the "spiritual garden consultant", only $65 per half-hour. Now, if the state of your garden reflects your spiritual wellbeing then I am in seriously deep do-do. If that's the case I don't need a lawn-care guy, I need an exorcist. When I go into any kind of home and garden store, I get an inverse humane society reaction. At the humane society the lonely lost and abandoned puppies and kittens run up to you and cry and whimper for attention. At the home and garden store budding rose bushes scream and plead for their lives like I'm the next coming of Saddam Hussein. Now there's a guy with seriously maladjusted angels. Then again, I'm not really trained to diagnose that.

6 comments:

Murky Thoughts said...

It's a typo. "Angle adjustment" must be another name for chiropractics. Or rolfing. Maybe with a little extra chi or something. Chi inhibitors help a lot with the angles, I hear.

On the Same Page said...

Wow, at first I mistakenly thought you were referring to adjusting "angles." My mistake. Now, if I go chiropractic, I pay for the adjustemnt, but patients suggest that angels are unlikely to carry cash. And for heaven's sake don't ask me about San Quentin's Death Row Adjustment Center . But you have not clarified if this is a service for a random angel, or my assigned angel, and of course, the outcome data. I'm presuming insurance does not cover this procedure. Now I'm left to ponder the Krebs Cycle of an angel...

Anonymous said...

Just a quick hello, especially to my friends ClinkShrink and Roy. I am in a lovely hotel in Florence, about to go for a walk. Spent a week in a remote part of Tuscany, near Scarlino, in a small and beautiful villa on a hilltop. Beautiful medieval walled towns, great food, better wine, lots of rest. We talk about the blog, my first internet connection in a week. Lots of energy here over soccer (US vs. Italy, tie score) last night. The troops want to go now. Ciao, dinah

jw said...

Angels need adjusting? Well, maybe they have problems with their flight feathers ... my son's parrot does: Twisted flight feathers make for poor flight control. Oh and those robes! They must fasten in the back and so getting them to lie properly must be a bit of work: Doubly so with the large chest muscles needed for the wings!

ClinkShrink said...

Here I got all excited because someone from Italy commented on the blog, and it's Dinah. Have a lovely time dear, but post as soon as you get back. And bring back coffee. Roy and I will keep the angels adjusted while you're gone.

ClinkShrink said...

Wow foo, your adjustment center looks a lot like the building where I studied anatomy in med school. Except you'd see students hanging out the windows trying to get away from the formaldehyde fumes. OSHA would have condemned that place.

I love how they name control unit prisons "adjustment centers". Like all they needed was a little fine tuning.